Iftar in Jordan

During last year's Ramadan we decided to break fast in Amman (ie the capital of Jordan, mhmmm mhmmm). Since Muslims fast throughout the day during Ramadan, the evening meal, called Iftar, is somewhat reminiscent of a Ukrainian wedding feast, except you have to attend said wedding every night for a month, all the while steering clear of the booze and merrymaking (nevermind, how Ukrainian is a booze-less wedding? Possibly less Ukrainian than the statue of liberty). When fasting, you are not allowed to eat or drink, and if you ever see a Muslim spitting profusely during Ramadan it is also because some people believe swallowing their saliva is un-Ramadany too. In my best efforts to be a devout Muslim for a day I went without Coke for about two hours. I was also explained that eating and drinking in public would be the biggest taboo that has ever lived, but having succumbed to my lack of willpower I scavenged the streets in search of an open shop to feed my fizzy soil colored liquid addiction. Having at last found a semi-open corner store full of men catching Ramadan z's I beyond awkwardly purchased some Bebsi (the Arab Pepsi. duh). I tried to offer them an explanation--something along the lines of--I'm saving it for later, but they didn't speak any English, so I'm pretty sure they thought I was rubbing the Bebsi in their faces. I then proceeded to crawl under the seat in the car and practise gluttony on a can of Pepsi in a foetal roll on the floor. 
The thought of starvation continued to haunt me throughout the day. My state fluctuated between sheer delirium and the feeling of certain death for nearly an hour when the sun started setting and the scent of cooking on the streets penetrated my senses like potent smelling salts. We chose Tannoureen for breaking fast--a Lebanese feastaurant (or fastaurant? I have a degree in wordplay. No I don't! You so bought that). My delirious state, coupled with the afternoon prayer and the gleaming of the day's last rays directly into my eye made the whole thing unbelievably surreal. We were surrounded by burka-clad ladies and beardy men excitedly lasering the dates on the table with their eyes (it's tradition to break fast with dates first. I obviously funnelled down my plate of dates, pits and all, way before the sun was down). But here is the climax of my story you have been on the edge of your seat for: when our collective prayer finally made the sun go away and its rays stopped harassing my retina, the fury of hunger was unleashed on what I can only describe as a gigantic, never-ending, mind boggling buffet of extremely unfamiliar food fit to feed an army of godzillas. Despite the hunger-fuelled stampede, there was so much food in every corner of the room that malnourished tears were short of pouring down my face in disbelief at the heavenly display. 
Obviously I was too busy hoovering down unidentified grub to take pictures. Photography only infiltrated my thoughts by the time I turned into this and it was dessert time. 

Unidentified weiner-shaped meatballssticks and something in a taco roll

 

Goga gola 

This may come as a surprise but I know what this is called: it is called Luqaimat and they are like deep-fried sugar balls. Ta da!

So I guess Iftar in Jordan is one experience I will never forget. Just imagining that people get to do this every day for a month makes me wonder why I am not Muslim yet, but then I remember about the fasting part and that answers my question. Ok baiii 

Golan Heights: Syria

Wow where do I begin on this one. First of all, the Golan Heights is what the international community refers to as "occupied territories" you hear about all the time (I hope you know your current events. If not, go away. Just kidding. Kinda). It is a large plateau up north of Israel bordering Syria to the East and Lebanon to the north, which amounts to 6% of Israel (only according to Israel, cuz according to others it amounts to 100% occupied Golan territories. Just sayin'.). Until the Six Day War in 1967 the Golan Heights was happily Syrian until it was suddenly Syrian no more, because--tum dum dummm--Israel wanted it some Golan Heights too. Well no, legend has it that Israel tried to return the heights in exchange for being BFFs with Syria but Syria politely refused the offer, so Israel decided fair dues and rejectedly kept the land. And what lovely land it was--Golan Heights is agriculturally rich and produces 15% of all of Israel's water supply. Golan settlements also allegedly make the yummiest wine ever, and it's such a shame you've pledged to never touch it because endorsing settlement activity is totally PIC (I support your decision). 

On set of Lord of the Rings. Just kidding, it's the Golan Heights innit

The little known fact about the Golan Heights, apart from the fact that no one seems to know about the Golan Heights itself, is that the physical border between Israel and Syria is MANNED--that is, it is actually made up of UN personnel holding hands in peace and harmony over an 80 km stretch. Or maybe not exactly holding hands, but they're there, and they are called UNDOF: United Nations Disengagement Observer Force by Steven Spielberg. I think the UNDOF mission is the most successful and thus least known UN mission ever, and I gotta say they sprinkled that border with sugar and spice and everything nice. The place was really clean and well run, and full of soldiers which is always a bonus. 

UNDOF staff unpacking furbys and adorable kittens...--how did you think they maintain the peace in the Middle East?

Me hangin out.. you know how we do 

 There are two more cool things about the UNDOF border I remember. One, the Golan occupation physically separated families and villages, a significant number of Syrian citizens remaining on the "Israeli" side. Brides and students are occasionally allowed to cross the border on a one-way trip of a lifetime (meaning--there's no return). There is a movie about that--Syrian brides clad in wedding dresses strutting their funky stuff across the border, surrounded by soldiers, having bade adieu to their family. A bit sad, really. 


The other cool thing is the town of Quneitra--the ex-Syrian HQ of Golan Heights, capitulated to Israel in the Six Day War. It is not so much a city as it is a ghost of something that with a lot of imagination could once have been a city, lying within the UNDOF border and forbidden to be rebuilt by the Syrian authorities as a reminder of Israeli might and wreath. 

This was actually my view at the dining table as I dined in fear of the force of nature that is Israel

 Driving through what actually felt like the set of the Pianist

The Golan hospital must have been a particular source of anger for someone with a machine gun 

So that's it for now.. spread the word about the fluffy and nice that is the UNDOF border! 

UN day Olive Harvest in West Bank

So UN day is a vewy thpethial day during which the peoples of the world are reminded about UN's core values of peace and fluffiness. This year UN day in Israel was celebrated in the outskirts of the Palestinian Ramallah in the centre of the West Bank--in a small town called Turmus Ayya. When practising their love of living too close for comfort to Palestinians, Jewish settlers have graced the Turmus Ayya neighbourhood with a whole lot of their kind, in a 2300-strong settlement called Shilo (ya Brangelina's love child!). 


Anyway, as everyone knows settlers like to live in style, and by style I mean machine guns and crop devastation. So, this year the settlers didn't disappoint, having uprooted a cropload of olive trees and flooded others with poison and sewage  (click for a creepy picture of settlers in the bushes). Note: olive harvest is nearly the main source of food and income for West Bank Palestinians, and is generally a symbol of Palestine. In Turmus Ayya the super funny Shilo residents allegedly decided to flood the olive groves with chemicals and sewage... why do they do this, you ask? I don't have a definitive answer to that.. one theory postulated by leading scientists states that it could have something to do with the fact that they live off benefits and have absolutely nothing else to do. Also something about the Messiah, but let's not dwell too much on that.
So on UN day in Turmus Ayya around 300 UN staff and volunteers, matched by possibly as much media, showed up to help the villagers with the olive harvest. The avid gardener Salam Fayyad (prime minister of Palestine) came too, casually declaring that the state of Palestine will be viable by August of next year (woot?). Anyway who doesn't like picking olives? I know I do. 

Fellow harvest supporters--they were adorable (I mean the kids, duh :P) Some of Shilo settlement is visible in the background... they didn't even come down to help, jeez what grumpy neighbours :(

UN envoy Robert Serry showing Al Jazeera how it's done 

Tis me, olive fan numero uno 

Prime minister Salam Fayyad and UN envoy Robert Serry sitting in a tree?

My best friends for the day. That flag is now mine. Selling it for $500 (hey, it's valuable memorabilia)

O hai Yasser

So overall the harvest day in Turmus Ayya was a success, I was a little disappointed that Shilo residents didn't  come to help out--it's not like they don't have the time, right? I was particularly impressed with the Palestinian kids who were the most hard working and friendly. If you are ever in the region around October and dangerous olive picking is your kind of pastime, Turmusayya residents would love to hear from you! Ta da.
PS: I also found out that raw olives taste like toilet duck. Did you know that?